OK…enough dilly-dalling. Here’s my one-time only thoughts and reflections on the debate on the feminist qualification of the lowly blowjob.
Now…my perspective may be a bit different from that of the ladies who contributed to the smackdowns, beatdowns, and throwdowns that took place throughout the feminist blogosphere, since I happen to be a man with a dick that, for all I know, still works well. That, as well as my stated position as a long time pro-sex radical and a fan of sexy, intellegent women who don’t mind giving and recieving sexual pleasure, puts me from the very beginning in the camp of the pro-fellatio crowd. This isn’t just because I stand to benefit from the prospect of more women not only doing fellatio, but learning how to do it wel enough to give
metheir partners much pleasure….and hopefully, they will reciprocate and return that pleasure back, too.
But even if they don’t, I simply don’t see the point why a woman who likes giving blowjobs should be treated like she is iliciting rape. It’s still her body and her decision, and her choice…and last time I read my Feminism 101 handbook, feminism was about allowing a woman the full option of freedom to express herself in any way she seems fit, without censure from men or other women, as long as there is mutual respect and mutual consent.
But…you ask, “But…but…but, SmackDog (or Anthony..I’m not afraid to out myself)…what about the notion of fellatio amounting to meek acceptance of patriarchy and male rule over women??? Certainly Twisty has a point that feminists should oppose male oppression in all its forms, and if men forcing fellatio on women against their will is a part of patriarchy, then shouldn’t we be able to condemn it as a political act without condemning the women for enjoying it??”
Well, You…because I am a sympathizer of feminism, I will cede that point….but only to a point. Yes, there is such a thing as “patriarchy”, it is the ideology which states that men should have greater power and resources than women, and that men should use that power to dictate to women what is good, bad, or indifferent. Yes, there are jackass men who abuse that power to impose stuff on individual women that they simply do not want. And HELL yes, women should NOT be required to give hummers to their significant others, or friends, or lovers , or even their husbands, if they are not in the mood for it. That is plain, simple, common-ass sense.
How Eva…..there is a point to which women have to be given the right of free will and consent and the ability to make decisions for themselves without censure….and if a woman actualy likes giving blowjobs to men she trusts, and if the men do treat such a woman with the respect she deserves as a full human being, then that’s where the patriarchy smack ends.
Yes, Twisty, Heart, Ginmar, Professor MacKinnon, Elinor, Ms. Levy, Sam, and all you other radicalfeminists out there, you can tune me out and scream “Penis!!!” all you will; but the fact remains that “teh Patriarchy” is not so closed and so overwhelming here in these United States of America (at least, not yet) that women aren’t free to make some choices and have them respected. Even choices to have sex with men. As much as some of us may do their best to prove your theories of male rapicity to be true, the overwhelming majority of men, in spite of being granted putative such powers by you to abuse women as a class, politely refuse to take up that offer and do their best to treat women with the utmost respect….even as we do admit to wanting to undress and fuck you in our minds. (At least…most of you.)
Now when a man crosses the line and forces his sexual choices on you against your will, then he is no longer merely a consenting horny guy, he is an attempted sexual harrasser; and if he goes to attempt to lay a hand on you against your stated wishes, then he becomes an attempted rapist; in which you now have my full permission and approval (like you need it) to crack his skull open, kneecap him in the balls, call the police, and/or report his sorry ass. No man with an ounce of decency or a working brain cell will ever deny that right, which has been won by feminists (including the radicalfeminists) with honor and blood and tears; and those who do are the ones who are truly deserving of the scorn and disgust and loathing….and if they happen to be in positions of power, the system that keeps them in positions of power deserves some criticism and reform, if not replacement by a better system that doesn’t allow miscreants and misogynists to gain such powers to begin with. THAT. sistas, is the kind of feminism I am proud to be acquainted with and will support to the death.
Compare that, however, to the kind of “feminism” that allows the likes of Twisty Faster to mock, ridicule, and humiliate those who don’t share her core views that women who merely like sex with men (or who consume pornography, or who engage in some form of consensual power play or BDSM, or those transgendered people who’s only fault is being biologically born with the features of both genders in a world that doesn’t allow them the decency to live with what God(dess) gave them) should be rounded up and shipped to the nearest radicalfeminist reeducation camp for “false consciousness”…and their feminist credentials thusly revoked for violating the cardinal laws of the Ten Commandments of Radicalfeminism, as assigned by Duh Goddess Andrea Dworkin (may she finally rest in peace), as passed along by the edicts of St. Catherine II (aka Professor Catherine MacKinnon) through her illustrious cardinals of Duh Faith (Shelia Jeffreys, Ann Simonton, Dorcheen Leidholdt, Judith Bath-Ada [aka Judith Reisman], to name a few).
To justify this entrapment and ambush as simply an attempt to merely “stir things up” or to further the analysis for a “political critique of fellatio” simply will not wash with me. And moaning and gripping that antiporn/radfem analysis is stifled and “censored” and intimidated into submission by the evil forces of Duh Patriarchy which control everything, including and especially “liberal feminism” does nothing to prove your case, either; it simply shows your desparation at reaching for strawpeople to justify putting down real people…and other feminists.
Finally, spending all this time on debating the feminist correctness of giving fellatio is not just a useless waste of resources at a time when basic freedoms for women are under such severe attack (Louisiana just passed another “no exceptions” antiabortion law, becoming the 5th state to do so since South Dakota started the trend); it plays directly into the hands of the forces of darkness and reaction who would certainly love to see feminist women rustle with each other rather than with them. Yes, there are times, as R. Mildred opined, that thrashing out opinions and discussions are good for social movements, and certainly the debate has been entertaining to say the least. But…if there is one thing that makes progressive movements progressive and not just a fake copy of the Right, it is the principle of accepting equality and free will, and mutual respect for the free choices of everyone..whether male of female, Black, White, Brown, yellow, or red (or any shade inbetween; gay, straight, bi. lesbian, male, female, transgendered, polysexual, asexual, or whatever your sexual preference may be. When a group of people calling themselves “progressives” and “radicals” use the label of “feminist” (or any other progressive label, for that matter) as a wedge to overpower and condemn others who don’t follow their narrow, totalitarian agenda, and to impose a putatively restrictive, reactionary, and erotophobic agenda that is more appropriate for the Christian Right….then those genuine progressive feminists and progressives and radicals have an obligation to speak openly and loudly against such without fear.
The power is not in the erect dick, ladies. The power is in the institutions that allow the man with the erect dick (and those without erections, too) to ignore his partner’s will. Rather than moan and bee-yatch about women who love sucking that dick, save your energy and change the overall system or build a better one.
Besides…if women can complain about men forcing fellatio on then; what can they say about men complaining equally hard about being forced to perform cullingus???
If the gander can complain, why can’t the goose???
Oh..but the radfems will find a way to condemn men who like giving head to women, I suppose…they will say that the resulting pleasure binds women to support patriarchy..thus men who acede to eating out women are still just as oppressive as men imposing hummers!!!
Oh, well…you can’t please everyone. Better to take the pleasures you can while the getting’s good….and to hell with those who would lay pretensious guilt trips on you for that!!
To the women who willingly give pleasure to their male partners, I say, May Goddess bless all of you…and may your lucky partners always return the favor.
And to those women who screech “Patriarchy” at them, I will only say this: “Bite me.” (On second thoughts, please don’t.)
C’est finis on that one. (Whew!) We now return you to our regularly scheduled smackfest, already in progress…