OK…I couldn’t stop myself….I’ll take Heart’s post on word-for-word:
Don’t trivialize my hatred of pornography.
Whenever you stop trivializing my hatred of antiporn fascists dressed in “radical feminist” drag, dear.
Don’t mock or laugh at or dismiss my hatred of blow jobs.
Why shouldn’t we….especially when you so impose your hatred on everyone else and call it “feminist theory”?? When you are so dismissive and callous of other women’s experiences???
Don’t trivialize my rage against — and yes, hatred of — men who violate little girls and little boys and women, my daughters, my sons, my mother, my sisters, myself, with and by these these things.
As if what you are doing in convicting innocent men and women of crimes they didn’t commit isn’t doing the same damn thing??
And do not make me wrong. On other days, I’ll talk about other things. I may even talk about all the ways that patriarchy hurts men, too, because it does. But don’t tell me patriarchy-hurts-men-too is what I ought to be talking about today, thinking about today, when blow jobs and rape and pornography are on my mind, when they are what I want to talk about, after days and months and years and decades and centuries of nightmares and screaming and still, fearful, deadly silences. Don’t tell me other violences matter more. Don’t tell me other voices matter more. Don’t tell me other people matter more than me.
Don’t shut me up.
My goodness….so now people who attempt to offer a different view than Heart’s madness are now merely attempting to “shut her up”??? And now, she has assumed for herself the powers of goddesses in universalizing her experience as encompassing ALL women for ALL time??? What freakin’ arrogance is this???
If you haven’t had cock shoved down your throat until you gagged and vomited and bled and could not breathe, with ”bitch” and “cunt” and ”whore” ringing in your ears, then maybe you don’t understand.
Gee, Heart..you do know that women can resist unwanted fellatio, do you?? You see, there are these things we call “TEETH”, that can do much damage to a man’s penis if you just bite down….
If you haven’t been forced, under threat of beatings with fists and belts and sticks and hoses and hangers to arrange your body like the porn star in the movie arranges hers so a man can fuck you like the men in pornography fuck her, and every day and every night there’s a new threat and a new film and a new position and maybe a new beating, then maybe you don’t understand.
Oh, please….not even Linda Lovelace ever had to endure that kind of ordeal; she was merely beaten by her husband.
If men have not raped you, raped your daughters, raped your sons, raped your mother, your sister, your friends, and so that valley of desperation and grief and rage and wanting to die is unfamiliar territory, then maybe you don’t see men quite the way I see them.
Which, of course, makes your opinion of men far more legitimate than those who don’t agree…..right, Heart??? After all, we all know that ALL men (especially the liberal/Left men who most oppose wiping out erections and porn and blowjobs from the face of the earth) inevitably gravitate to raping and murdering everyone and everything that moves, don’t they??? All because of having a penis, I guess???
I won’t ask you to. No woman should be expected, or asked, or ordered, or even begged, to enter into that hell. It’s been forced upon us, forced upon us, enough of us, thousands and millions and billions of us throughout history. Thank god, some have been spared. Thank god, you have been spared.
Wait a minute…you mean that porn and blowjobs has been forced on BILLIONS of women throughout history?? And yet women still managed to survive and thrive??? I guess that the Patriarchy isn’t so powerful after all, then??
And remember, all this began over whether or not blowjobs are innately antifeminist (or simply gross), and whether any woman who enjoys the act of fellatio for herself can remain a feminist.
I won’t ask you to go there with me. You don’t have to hold my hand. You don’t have to hold me.
But I’ll say this. Don’t trivialize what broke me. Don’t call my suffering trifling. Don’t chide me for my rage. Don’t say it’s no big deal or others have it worse or think about my privilege or what’s wrong with you, all the evil in the world, damn ungrateful bitch talkin’ about blow jobs, what the hell is wrong with her.
Oh, yeah…so now Heart’s elevated herself and her “universal’ female experience above that of Native Americans, Jews, antiracist activists, and Black and Brown people who have seen the same or even worse suffering (and I would think that as bad as rape is, being strung up with your testicles cut off isn’t that pleasant, either). But, she’s a “leftist” radical feminist who isn’t a Klan-supporting racist, so appropriating their suffering and discrimination to serve her elitist cause is perfectly OK…I suppose.
That’s what he said to me. That’s what men say to us. That’s what they have always said to us while they choked us with cock or beat us with fists or seared our minds and bodies and spirits and souls with images and acts we can never, ever forget no matter how hard we try, dear god, no matter what we do to make it stop, no matter how much we drink, or what part we cut or pierce or tattoo, or how well we starve or eat ourselves into invisibility, or what god or goddess we pray to, or work for, no matter the drugs, the pills, weed, it’s there, it’s there, god help us it’s still there, it never ends, it never ends. They told us we should be glad we had a man/a father/a house/food, what’s wrong with you, bitch, it’s just a picture, it’s just a weapon, it’s just a cock, stupid slut. You’ve got it good, you whore. You’ve got it good.
That’s what men say to us.
And which men (or women) would that be, Heart??? The ones who simply say that some women can enjoy blowjobs for their own pleasure?? The ones that say that not all men become brutal rapists and pimps merely for masturbating to a woman having consensual sex with others (or pleasuring herself)??? The ones that do their best to improve the lives of such women trapped in such hell through such things as strengthing spousal abuse laws, divorce reform, improving the options for single women and working women, and at least educating men to understand that NO means NO??
Oh, but I forgot…..they are all MEN..and thus, by edict of the newly endorsed Goddess of St. Andrea through the readings of the Book of MacKinnon, they are to be castigated and swept aside now and forever as enemies of all women, heretowith!!! And any woman who dares to question this edict should be sentenced to reeducation by the Ministry of Radical Feminism so that they can understand and change their “false consciousness” and really see how their bodies are lying to them, and that mutual pleasure and negotiated power is merely just another tool of the Patriarchy to rule over women!!!
Don’t you say it. Don’t you say it.
Don’t tell me not to grieve. Don’t tell me not to rage. Don’t tell me not to scream. Don’t tell me what to feel or think, or how to go about mending my world, saving my own life.
Actually, Heart, you can grieve and rage and scream all you want; it’s your blog.
But when you use your space to smear, slander, and falsely convict other women and men for crimes they never committed; and exploit your status as an abuse victim for shaming your critics and promoting an essentially male-baiting, sex-hating campaign to impose your fascistic views on others…..well, let’s just say that WE won’t be shut up, either.
But, since this probably will just go through your brain, Heart, I will, on behalf of all sex radical Leftist men who have never and will never rape or abuse anyone, simply conclude with this salute in kind to you and all your antiporn fascist “sisters”: