Just when I thought that the freakery of right-wing Republican sexual closet cases can’t get any loonier….here comes one for the record books.
You may have heard of the story of poor Florida state senator Bob Allen, who was at one time co-chair of John McCain’s state presidential campaign orgainzation, and a loud and frequent voice for all things moral and pure.
At least, he was….until he got his ass caught and arrested in a Titusville park public restroom for soliciting an undercover cop for a blowjob.
You may even have heard of the excuse he gave for his innocence, too….except that it is so freakin’ whack that it deserves a replay. This is from the Orlando Sentinel:
TITUSVILLE – State Rep. Bob Allen told police he was just playing along when a undercover officer suggested in a public restroom that the legislator give him oral sex and $20 because he was intimidated, according to a taped statement and other documents released Thursday.
Allen has already denied any wrongdoing, but the recordings and documents offered new details about what he and police say happened on July 11 inside the men’s room at Veterans Memorial Park.
“I certainly wasn’t there to have sex with anybody and certainly wasn’t there to exchange money for it,” said Allen, R-Merritt Island, who was arrested on charges of soliciting prostitution.
“This was a pretty stocky black guy, and there was nothing but other black guys around in the park,” Allen, who is white, told police in a taped statement after his arrest. Allen said he feared he “was about to be a statistic” and would have said anything just to get away.
Allen, who couldn’t be reached for comment Thursday, has repeatedly declared his innocence, his intention to fight the charges and his desire to stay in office.
Uh-huh. Sure. Right, Senator. I feel your pain. I mean, there’s just no reason for you to be out there in a public park with all those evil “stocky” Black men threatening your life…unless you really, really, really have a hunger for a piece of that thick, juicy dark meat.
Problem for him is, the police reports tell a somewhat different story.
Three undercover officers said they were staking out a nearby condo hoping to catch a burglar when Allen entered a park bathroom at about 3:30 p.m.
The officers, who didn’t recognize the seven-year legislator, said they thought he was behaving suspiciously and thought that he was looking for a sexual partner, according to the reports released by the Brevard-Seminole State Attorney’s Office.
In a written statement released Thursday, Titusville Officer Danny Kavanaugh recalled entering the restroom twice and said he was drying his hands in a stall when Allen peered over the stall door.
After peering over the stall a second time, Allen pushed open the door and joined Kavanaugh inside, the officer wrote. Allen muttered ” ‘hi,’ ” and then said, ” ‘this is kind of a public place, isn’t it,’ ” the report said.
The officer said he asked Allen about going somewhere else and that the legislator suggested going “across the bridge, it’s quieter over there.”
“Well look, man, I’m trying to make some money; you think you can hook me up with 20 bucks?” Kavanaugh asked Allen.
The officer said Allen responded, “Sure, I can do that, but this place is too public.”
Then Kavanaugh said he told Allen, “I wanna know what I gotta do for 20 bucks before we leave.’ ” He said Allen replied: “I don’t know what you’re into.”
According to Kavanaugh’s statement, the officer said, “do you want just [oral sex]?” and Allen replied, “I was thinking you would want one.”
The officer said he then asked Allen, “but you’ll still give me the 20 bucks for that . . . and that the legislator said, “yeah, I wouldn’t argue with that.”
As Allen turned and motioned for the officer to follow him to his car, Kavanaugh identified himself as a police officer by raising his shirt and exposing his badge.
But give him credit, he did try the “Do you know who I am?” defense:
When Allen was being placed in a marked patrol car, he asked whether “it would help” if he was a state legislator, according to a police report. The officer replied, “No.”
Now….the racist “blame the stocky evil Black men” angle has already been beaten (off) to death in several venues; and the “hidden gay desire to devour dark manmeat” angle will be left to more suitable commentators.
For me, though, the fascinating thing is the fact that Allen (allegedly) solicited the cop not to get blown, but to blow. I guess that he thought that if he was the initiator of the action, then he would be exempted from solicitation laws?? Or maybe, he was sooooo desperate for dark mantube (and the bigger the better, I’d think, considering his love of racist stereotyping) that he was willing to pay to relieve his hunger??
(But….twenty bucks?!?!?! For a state senator who happens to be a co-chair for a major Presidential candidate?? What….couldn’t he afford to rent a prostitute for one night?? Or is he really that cheap??)
But no…not even that surprises me that much….Florida is still part of the South, and uptown Klan racism flows through there no less than any other state of the region.
Nope….the real stunner is this: How in the HELL did this fool get to be associated with John McCain’s campaign??? You know….”Straight Talk” McCain, the political “moderate” who disdains “extremism”?? Whom was at one time the frontrunner for the Republican nomination mostly because he was considered “electable” from the “center”??? Then again, this was the same McCain who sucked up to Jerry Falwell just before his passing; and whom stood by harmlessly in ’00 when Dubya’s forces savaged him for his adoption of a child of color during the primaries. I guess that such is the costs of getting the nomination, perhaps.
Then again, David Vitter was Rudy Giuliani’s mouthpiece and relay to the Christian Right…his love of diapers and hookas notwithstanding…so that might just be a trend for “moderate conservative” Repubs.
Goodness. Some people just can’t control themselves…..maybe that’s why they so much want to control others??